Finish Sauna
by karen spelling
Summary: Horatio and Johan Hagen take their sweet revenge on the girls. Second chapter to Let it snow


Meaning she tricked me?" Horatio chewed slowly on a piece of rye bread. "Just like that?"

John Hagen grinned. "You know partner, women do that from time to time."

"Listen, what about tricking them too?"

John Hagen held up both hands. "That is dangerous territory, pal. Calleigh is going to have a headache for the next half year if she finds out. And Karen? I guess she's going to bite your balls off."

"Nah, I am still the master and commander in our relationship."

Hagen chewed noisily. "You sure about that?"

"Absolutely. Now listen…." Horatio leaned forward and whispered Hagen something in his ear.

"I mean that sounds great – but how to get them out of the cabin and the other ones in?"

"What do you think are our badges for, huh?"

Hagen slapped Horatio on the shoulders. ""Partner you're brilliant. That'll be going a

lot of fun."

Karen and Calleigh strolled in smiling like two Cheshire cats.

"How are our boys doing?"

Horatio pulled a face and groaned. "Better. But just a bit. I don't think I can make it to the slopes today."

Karen pouted. "What a bummer! I was looking forward to teach you how to ski properly. You still hurting that much?"

Hagen nodded vigorously. "You better believe it. I checked the goods. They still purple and swollen."

"Poor baby. I dread to think what would have happened it Horatio hadn't let himself fall on his butt."

Calleigh took a sip from Hagen cup. "What about Eric and Ryan?"

"They are still in bed. I think Eric will come with us. He is crazy about skiing. A natural born skier. What about you John?"

"Nah. I stay with Horatio. Someone's got to take care of that poor guy."

"What? Didn't I take care of him yesterday?" Karen exclaimed.

"You did honey. Nice going, sweetie." Horatio lifted his head for a kiss and she complied only too willingly. "Can you pour me a glass of juice, hon?"

"Of course." She went to the kitchen to fetch the beverage.

Gently she placed the glass in front of Horatio.

"You know, I thought eggs sunny side up would be quite yummy. Would you…?"

Hagen hid a grin behind his cup.

"I'll give it a try. You know that I'm not a great cook. But for you I'll do it."

"I find that so comforting." Horatio swooned. "That's my girl."

Calleigh looked first at Horatio then at John.

„Just don't overdo it guys, will you?"

„What are we doing?" Both men asked simultaneously..

Actually, Karen brought him a plate with eggs in his favourite style. Well, they looked a little bit frayed but as this was the very first time, she had done that for him he was all smiles.

Thirty minutes later Eric emerged from his room all dressed up and ready to hit the slopes.

„Guys, I can tell you that there is nothing cooler than skiing. Karen, will you teach me today too? Thanks to you, I'm already almost a pro."

„We both going to teach you." Calleigh said. Our boys here are taking a rain check. Can you believe that?"

„Well, I know Horatio has every reason too but John?"

„I'll be staying with Horatio to cheer him up." Johan Hagen said. „Poor guy got hurt and only another guy knows what he's been trough."

„Amen." Calleigh rolled her eyes „I know there is something fishy in the making. I just can't put my finger on it."

„No way!" Horatio said grinning like a boy caught in a candy store.

„No!" chimed John in.

As soon as everyone had left for the superb slopes, John got into motion. He took his cell phone and called a hostesses-service.

„We would like to book two girls." He held the phone to his chest so that the person on the other end of the line couldn't hear what he was saying. He looked at Horatio questioningly.

„Black, red, brown or blond?"

Horatio shrugged.

„You decide."

„Ok. We'll take one blonde and one red haired." John said into the phone. Another look at Horatio.

„500 Dollar both, OK?"

Horatio nodded.

John beckoned Horatio to get up.

„The girls will be here in two hours. Come on partner let's make a Finnish Sauna."

„Huh?"

„Just wait and see. It'll be a lot of fun."

Somewhere behind the cabin, they found a huge tub and carried it into the shed that stood some yards away from the cabin. Wood was chopped, water was heated. Both men felt like boys on a secret mission.

The girls arrived soon after that. Allowedly, they were attractive. However, Maine wasn't Miami.

„Take your pick, partner." John Hagen said. You're the highest in rank."

Horatio looked at the girl next to him. A petite blonde.

„What's your name?"

„Nancy.

„Hi, Nancy. My name is Horatio."

„Hi Horatio. Where are you from?"

„Miami. How are you doing?"

„Fine. Thank you."

John Hagen put an arm around the other girl.

„Horatio that is Stella. Enough small talk. Let's go to the bathhouse,"

Both men stripped down to their Speedos while the girls hoped in stark naked. Horatio still groaned because of the uncomfortable tightness around his privates. The swelling may have gone down but they still hurt from the impact of the collision with the tree stem.

John felt like a king. „I tell you partner, when they come in and see us like that that is going to be a lot of fun."

„You sure?" Horatio sipped only slightly at the champagne John had chilled for them. He didn't particularly like that beverage but anything else wasn't available.

„I already did it once. Moreover, I can tell you – Calleigh was – you know she refused to let go of me for the next seven days. First she was mad like a hornet but then...oh, boy..."

Nancy moved closer to Horatio and stroked his leg under the water. As he felt her hand slipping up his thigh, he stopped her.

„Don't. I had an accident yesterday and I don't think that that will work."

Nancy looked at him admiringly. „You're a nice guy."

Horatio smiled. „Thank you. Let's talk a bit. Where are you from?"

"Providence."

"Rhode Island?"

"Yeah. How do you know that? I don't take you for a Wolverine."

"I happen to look at maps a lot."

"Well, you are a lot more fun than you look, you know that?"

It was soon clear that though she was nice enough she was not the cleverest. And certainly, she was no Karen. She liked to please. Horatio found himself looking for women who teased and challenged him. Like Karen. The steady adventure of never knowing what would come next. Would she freak out or be mellow like a cat?

Stella and John had already gone a step further. John kissed the girl on the shoulders while she shrieked in delight. Horatio cast a questioning look at his colleague. But John was oblivious to anything but the girl next to him.

After several glasses of Champagne, even Horatio felt like loosening up a bit. He leaned back in the steamy water until only his head could be seen and smiled at Nancy invitingly.

"So do tell me how you hurt your……" Nancy moved closer again.

"Skiing accident."

"Really. Poor boy."

"Funny, my…."

That was as far as he got because the next moment the door to the shed flew open and Calleigh and Karen stood there making huge eyes at the whole scene.

"What the hell is going on in here?"

"Hello girls!" John raised his glass to Calleigh.

"Darling." Horatio grinned at Karen.

"Calleigh, please kick me and tell me that I've been dreaming!" Karen folded her hands in front of her chest shooting daggers with her eyes at Horatio.

"By the way, how's your…..dick?"

John Hagen smirked at him. "Did she really say dick?"

Horatio nodded. " Just wait until she is really mad."

"John, what are you doing in there?"

John Hagen shrugged his shoulders in drunken easiness.

"How does it look like? Me and Horatio having some fun."

"Well, I can see that."

"Whoa! Guys I want to come in too!" Eric who had stuck his head into the door looked admiringly at the two beauties in the tub. "Give me five and I'll join the fun."

"The hell you are!" His girl friend said and shoved him back out.

Karen took a step forward addressing the girl next to Horatio.

"Get out before I drown you! Both!"

"Hey, they called us…"

"Out….now!"

Both girls hopped out of the tub stark naked snatching up their clothes and fled the scene.

Karen then turned to Calleigh and the women retreated to a corner of the cramped shed and whispered together excitedly. They nodded at each other then stepped up to the tub.

"Hi guys, you like it in there?" Karen asked with an edge in her voice that could have cut steel.

"You say it. Want to join us?" Horatio raised his hand to pull her into the water.

"Another time, maybe."

She gave Calleigh a sign who started to collect their clothes and towels bundling them up and carrying them out.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Suddenly John Hagen was half out of the tube. "We are naked and it is freezing outside!"

Calleigh smiled sweetly.

"Well, it can't be helped, can it?"

"Come on, Karen. Leave us the towels. We will freeze to death. The water is getting cold and…"

"See. If. I. care." Karen got the cooler with the melted ice and emptied into the tub. The water was ice cold.

"Whoa! Are you crazy?"

Both men jumped up. As Ryan strolled in they were somewhat relieved.

"Ryan, could you get us some towels? It's getting cold in here."

Calleigh took Ryan by the arm and led him to the door.

"Sorry, but Ryan is our accomplice. He told us what they two of you were doing. So we cam earlier and caught you in the act. So have fun guys!"

With that, both women and Ryan left leaving Horatio and John to their own devices.

"Shit!" Hagen rubbed his arms.

"Yeah, is that the fun you talked about? And how do we get back to the house? If they let us in that is."

"What do you mean?"

"Karen always locks me out when she's mad."

"Anyway, that was your idea. That chick is plain crazy, I can tell you that much."

Inside the cabin, the girls had the time of their life. Calleigh looked out of the window were she could watch the shed closely and report to the rest of the clique was going on outside.

"Can you believe that?" Valera said. "You go skiing and they call in some hookers."

"I wonder whose idea it was." Karen mused.

"Well, let's say 50:50." Calleigh put in her 50 Cents worth of opinion. "I am positive that both men are capable of doing it. John as well as Horatio. Horatio is no angel either."

"I know only too well. Therefore, he will receive no mercy tonight. Just to think of that I felt sorry for him hitting his balls and all that and then….as soon as I turn my back on him he …."

"Men!" Eric's girl friend shook her head. "If I ever catch Eric doing that his Willie will come off. With the sharpest knife I possibly can find."

Eric's face glowed. "Boy, am I a lucky guy that I went skiing with you."

Suddenly Calleigh shrieked with laughter.

"What?"

"That was Horatio. Dipping a toe into the snow. Boy you almost can't keep both apart – the snow or Horatio. He's got such pale skin!"

"What is he doing now?" Karen looked out but couldn't see much.

"Went back in, I guess. But don't you think you're too hard on them?" Ryan dared to ask.

"No!"

Outside in the shed John quarrelled with his fate.

"I can't stand to be in here anymore. That crazy bitches. I am already wrinkled like an apple."

"So what we're going to do?" Horatio – always cool like a cucumber – As they say: You don't have a backup. You don't have a plan."

John rolled his eyes. "Who said that?"

"My old man."

"Smart guy. We'll make a run for it?"

"Well, nothing else remains to be done."

"Shit. I hate the cold."

"So do I. But it can't be helped, can it?" Horatio was already half out of the tub. "You ready partner?"

"You bet I am."

Both men opened the door of the shed and made a run for the house through the knee-deep snow. At the door another surprise. Closed.

"Jesus Christ girls!" John Hagen cursed arms folded on his chest to fend of at least a little bit of the biting cold.

Inside Ryan couldn't watch any longer.

"Come on let them in! They'll freeze to death."

Calleigh opened the door for a small loop.

"You sorry, John?"

"Yes, of course. Just let me in, OK?"

"Horatio?"

"Tell Karen, I'll rob on my knees two days long if she wants me to. Jesus, just let us in."

Finally, maddening slowly the door was opened and both men rushed in. They looked funny in their trunks. Disappearing as fast as they could into the bathroom.

"John has got to loose some weight. That's essential." Calleigh said.

Thirty minutes later both men came back donned in thick bathrobes.

"Honey, some soup would do wonders for me." Horatio said flashing his brightest smile at Karen.

"Go to the restaurant and order some." She said.

"A-ha."

"I feel a sudden cold-front coming down from the North." John Hagen whispered to Ryan. "You have an idea why?"

"Tea maybe?" Horatio didn't give up."

Karen threw her cell phone in at him, which he cached skilfully.

"You can order in girls you can get some tea yourself." Then she adumbrated with her mouth two not very polite words in his direction.

Eric caught the meaning and grinned.

"H., did she just say f…"

"Yes, she did."

Much later on in their room Karen packed her bags. Tomorrow morning they would drive back to Boston. While she folded clothes and put them away, Horatio was resting on the bed and watching her.

Tease that she was she had put on her most revealing lingerie, donned a garter belt and strutted to and fro in front of him. Long strong legs, flat stomach, great bust. His spirits were rising literally and figuratively but she ignored him.

"Yesterday you wanted to look if my….he's OK. Well, go ahead and check it out."

"Forget it." Karen said without missing a beat. "Dip it into the snow, for all I care."

Her teasing hit its peak as she knelt down by his bedside to retrieve a sock that had been shoved under the bed lifting her bottom up shoving it almost in his face.

He couldn't help but slap that fine piece of ass. Well, that was a mistake. She turned around, eyes blazing.

"Don't you ever do that again. Didn't you get enough today?"

Horatio grinned apologetically. "Just couldn't resist. However, the girl today wasn't half as nice as you. You're much smarter and better looking. Believe me."

"Read my lips: I don't care. You can entertain yourself. I'm going to spend the night downstairs anyway. So suit yourself."

Back in warm and sunny Miami Alexx couldn't help but cry tears of laughter as Eric told her about the adventurous weekend they had had up in Maine. The corpse she had been working on since two hours was all but forgotten.

"So H. really got hit by the fir tree? "

"Directly into the goods."

"Ouch. And they really had to stand outside in the cold with only their trunks on?" Alexx asked disbelievingly. "Must have been a sight for the Gods."

Calleigh strolled in with a Petri dish in her hands.

"Stomach contents?"

"Here you go." Alexx said with a grin. "I've heard you and your friend have been naughty girls."

Calleigh fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly. "Sometimes guys deserve just that. Don't you think Alexx?"

Alexx plugged in her bone-saw . "I couldn't agree more."


End file.
